7 STEPS TO FORGET THE PERSON YOU LOVE

Reissue 2011

"Yes! ... But how can I forget her if I still love her?"

It is a very frequent question and at some point in our lives we have all done it, men and women, boys and girls.

That stage in your life when you think you are so alone and no one can understand your pain. Guess something ... you're not alone.

It is more normal than it seems and right now there are thousands of people feeling something similar to what you feel. People who have been loved without being able to love or loved without being reciprocated, although it is more difficult when you are reciprocated and something happens that breaks all illusions and takes away who you most wanted at that time.

I like to be honest, you will not find five magic words here to pronounce and immediately forget as if by magic to that unique and special person, and if you expected it, you are lost, you will not find them here, nor in another blog, nor in all the internet, nowhere because they do not exist.

Did you meet a person who changed you forever and nothing was the same after her? I, too, at that stage of my life made me feel excited and alive at his side, made me live, feel, love, made me a simple and very happy smiling fool, and then made me suffer and wish to forget. I passed it, I'm still alive and very happy, I appreciate that it happened and from here everything looks different, but maybe you're still in that hole of shadows, anguish and uncertainty.

I'll tell you how it happened to me ...

That special person in my life is Laura and I believe that there is a "Laura" in the life of each one of us, and a "Lauro" in each woman's life.

We know a person with whom we feel compatible, excited, we feel an incomparable chemistry, we act nervous, naive, insecure, we do a thousand clumsiness, but everything moves slowly, everything improves little by little.

We begin to smile foolishly as we watch life turn pink and with new energy every day we write poems, dedicate songs, and feel satisfied if we can be special, valued and taken into account by that person.

In the best of cases, everything progresses well, improves confidence, intimacy, and the quality of the time we share together, we miss that person day and night and we dream about it. We live intensely doing nonsense, crazy, letting ourselves go, and becoming a stupidly happy and radiant version of ourselves.

We believe, we distrust, we get bored, we have fun, we cry, we laugh and we miss more that person.

Then there are a thousand ways that things go wrong ...

*Maybe we turn everything into a contagious routine that does not satisfy us but does not allow us to finish a good time, a spiral of small mistakes, a collection of bad habits in a relationship.

*Maybe we started to feel insecure causing fights, arguments, distrust, and slowly moving away from who we want when we just wanted to be closer.

*Maybe it's us who get bored and start disqualifying everything, to be intolerant, distant, indifferent and / or always in a bad mood

*Maybe someone else comes along that makes us feel that excitement at the beginning again, or maybe someone else comes to her life and snatches it away slowly.

We hurt, we hurt, we lie and we do a thousand silly things. We are hurt, wounded, deceived, and we can not understand the behavior of our partner.

Why is everything so different? What changed? What happened? Sometimes we forget that a valuable relationship must be taken care of as everything that is worthwhile, it is as if love had an instruction manual.

It's not the bottom of the hole, we're still falling, stumbling and hurting ourselves ...

We feel a light and addictive pleasure to remember every day, every moment, every promise, listening to songs, rereading messages and letters, thinking of all the plans made ashes, blaming us for everything he put on and never was, and never will be.

Things do not go as we had imagined, simply because we did not imagine, we just idealized, we drew in our mind someone perfect, a romantic movie story where everything happened, where we managed to overcome all obstacles and in the end, we ran to meet that person , we hugged each other, we told each other how much we loved each other, we were still together and everything was pink once more, it did not rain in rainy seasons, there was no global warming, there was no global crisis, there were no endangered species, we had children as bunnies and everything was going well.

Yes, it's true, we thought that everything was a pink novel, and no, it was not, love novels are made by a writer with destiny on the tip of a pen, a true love story is written by two people with what They do every day.

Real life is different, sometimes it is very bad and sometimes it is spectacular, it is like that and we can not ignore that in the flesh it is more intense, this is the world where we were born and it will continue that way.

Are bad experiences really bad?

Of course not, the strongest and most intense experiences in our life are those that mark us forever, those that make us see the world in a different way forever and we overcome or not, it is those experiences that form our personality, our character and who we are. It is when we are in the limit, we continue and we are strong forever, or we stop and we are weak forever, if we accept the test we gain conviction, strength and we are faithful to our ideals, if we flee or look down we will always load that, every day. It is the most difficult choice of a moment and its consequences will be forever: optimism or depression, strength or cowardice, happiness or unhappiness.

The most successful people failed several times, the rich were poor, and the strong people were not always, when they had the choice they hated to feel dejected and small, fought with strength and courage never to feel this way again, they got it until they were the other side and being able to understand that the challenge that looked like a huge mountain was just a small mound of earth that covered the eyes.

                                                                

What would those people tell us? They appreciate the opportunity to overcome the test and become who they are.

In short, you feel sadness and pain, it means that you feel a lot of courage, do something with it, convert it into the willpower to keep going despite everything stopping you, overpowering and persevere, turn it around.

You are ready to return to the question at the beginning and answer it.

"But how can I forget her if I still love her?"

There is a common tendency among people who suffer for love.

They lock themselves in a bubble where there is only one, away from everything.

Arrive at the bedroom, go to bed, remember, miss, blame and cry. Listen to broken love songs all the time, and try to forget in a totally incoherent way, remembering.

Have you done something like that lately?

Do it only to verify that there is a strange addiction to depression and suffering:

You start with " Mientes | Camila " or " I dedicate myself to get lost | Alejandro Fernández ", when you're really very bad " El triste | José José " and if you're going, something more sober like " If You're Gone | Matchbox Twenty "

I mean, " I forgot you, I do not even remember you anymore ," " I do not love you anymore, I hate you ," "It's all my fault, I'm the worst ," " I'm happy being miserable, " and so on, getting deeper into the hole of guilt and self-pity that you yourself started to dig.

7 steps to forget the person you love

I wrote this article several years ago with tears in my eyes, thinking about it and struggling to be well.

Now it's your turn, it's your stage, everything is so hard and it feels so inside, so intense on the surface, if you knew exactly what to do you would not look for answers, so let me help you but more than that, " help yourself or no one else will be able ", remember that there are no magic words.

1 | Do not self-hypnotize

Stop listening to songs of love suffered and badly wounded , those songs that repeat you over and over again that you are miserable and you are not worth anything if you do not have that wonderful princess and prince without flaws by your side.

2 | Go out and have fun

Who told you that you would go through that stage of depression leaving aside everything that you liked, motivated you, impassioned you and made you happy?

You suffer from love, and besides that, you avoid having fun, you avoid going out, and you avoid doing the things that you like and you are passionate about. I do not understand it, and you? I am with you, and you?

3 | Unwind, be objective

It is common, too common to think that there is not a person in the world equal to the one we want. Believe that we will never find a person so special and that nothing, never, will be the same again.

You need to think a little, out there, not in your house, not on the computer, not on Facebook, out there !, on the street, in real life, there are millions of people.

What are the chances of finding a person equal to the one we want? Honestly very few, but change the question:

What are the chances of finding someone better?

A person with whom we congeniemos more and that there is more chemistry, new and more intense emotions, new experiences, another world to share.

Taking into account the population growth on the planet, and that obviously there are millions of people out there, because your chances are huge. Go out, discover and meet a thousand more people, make two hundred friends, have fifty dates, give 10 new first kisses, and if you tell me later that nobody convinces you, then try your own sex because you're probably gay.

4 | Life is not a novel written on paper

Stop mentally masturbating by planning and imagining a magical and wonderful encounter where you say a few magic words, then that person tells you that he loves you and they both end up making love on a deserted island under the shadow of a solar eclipse and a piano player. background.

You can do things well, right where you failed before, you can achieve what you set out to do, you can change, you can reconquer, you can make someone else fall in love, many more people. But that's a matter of attitude, not words, not flowers and chocolates, not imagination, but to be in the place and at the time where things happen come on!

5 | Do not feel pity or self-pity

"I'm old", "I'm ugly", "I'm fat", "I'm poor", "I'm bald", "I'm short". Maybe yes and some things you can not change but if we add your pity for yourself, you will be a sad old man, a sad ugly, a fat resignation, a mediocre poor, a nasty hair, or a short without grace. Sorry to be a little raw, cold, cruel or direct, but do not want useless pat on the back.

Stop being so self-centered , we are not the only ugly, poor, fat or old in the world. There are many more, but if you add pity for yourself, you will also be a coward who does not dare to fight and give his face and everything for himself.

Sometimes it's a matter of attitude

An empty phrase written on a gold leaf is still an empty phrase, a deep phrase written on a battered and old sheet, it is a relic. You are that phrase, the rest is the leaf.

6 | Think of you

Sometimes we add value to a person because we know that it pleases our friends or our family, sometimes simply because we know that someone else considers it special. That has a psychological and natural explanation, it is normal that we take into account the value and social preselection that a person has. Also in wild times our ancestors ate among them, I suppose you would also find a natural explanation but that is not why we will eat people there.

When you make the balance of pros and cons and make important decisions, think that it is you who decides in your life and it is you who affect your decisions, try to be well.

7 | Turn the page

I would not ask you not to be sad, not to miss, not hurt or not to cry, to cry is good, you have to express yourself, relieve yourself and feel free.

So if you really feel very, very bad and can not do any more, then go to your bedroom, smash a pillow, cut your hair, pull your nails, throw the phone to the floor, scream, curse, cry and be somebody idiot night . But the next day early, stand up, bathe, do something with your hair and salt, because all this time the world has turned without you .

I would have liked to know this 7 years ago

and that having so many mistakes someone had come to put my feet on the ground, to say that I am the only one miserable for my sadness and the only responsible for my happiness , I would have wanted something strong even to understand and mature.

Thanks for reading so many years!

I said before that there were not five magic words, if there are but they are not easy:

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